Saturday, December 3, 2011

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life Review

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life was released back in 2004 so over half a decade ago. Somehow, though, I still recall vividly just how exciting this game was supposed to be. Full of realism and play that would make you feel like a farmer, like you're somehow living what Harvest Moon was all about. Your child could grow up! People actually aged! This was going to be THE Harvest Moon.

...So what exactly happened with that?

The story starts with your male character getting told that your father had died and he wanted you to inherit his farm. Your father's old friend and partner on the farm, Takakura, an old surly fellow, is there to help you out. So it is your upmost duty now to live a wonderful life.

Still waiting on that.

If you read my other two reviews, I started with PROS but I think it's most appropriate to list the CONS first so the PROS make us feel like this wasn't an absolutely horrible game...

CONS:

Fine, the realism was supposed to be the best part, but...: No. The realism in this game is pretty much what made this game pretty much...horrible in some aspects.

  • Cows: So these bitches made me want to jump through the screen and make another meat aside from fish available. They always seemed to get disgruntled, ALWAYS. I think they had to be fed twice a day if I remember correctly. But that's not my main issue with them. I'm not sure of the biological make up of cows...but I guess it's sort of like humans. And that SUCKS. If you haven't played, pretty much to keep your cow producing milk, you have to have them reproduce...and oh buddy, there's no cow seed anymore. Kind of a funny pro *snicker* But again, WHY? I guess it works but even after the cow spawned it never made the same amount of milk it did before AND it didn't last long either. And the heifers had the nerve to get mad when I tried to milk them and they'd "dried" out. I'm SORRY, here I thought cows were supposed to produce milk!
  • Goats: Probably single-handedly the most useless addition ever. You buy a goat from Van, like the cows it produces milk for a while, then once it dried up, it was over. You couldn't even sell them. I think the booklet actually said: "They make nice pets". They make a nice waste of space you mean.


Five Potential Ladies to Three Was a Larger Drop Than I Assumed...: So I wasn't one of the 'oh, Celia's boring' right off even though she was kind of "green" in a "I love vegetables, they're all I talk about!" way...and a charge people that argue this...wasn't that like all the girls? What was Muffy really talking about? Or really, Nami? Or really...

Anyone?: "It's a beautiful day!","Looks like rain!", "It's freezing!". Thanks, I really wanted every character to be my personal weather people and nothing else. These were the most ridiculously two-dimensional 3D characters ever at points. The only time I remember them saying anything interesting was when Muffy told you to "leave her alone" when you don't marry her or Galen says the same for "spoiler". Much obliged, you lames.

I haven't played in years...but I remember the "guuu": Realism. It's a wonderful thing...but I will MURDER you if your stomach keeps growling! It makes sense, of course, you're running around, he gets hungry, the poor thing. But apparently sashimi doesn't hit the spot for very long...nor did anything. Yea, advanced foods lasted a bit longer. And I do mean a bit.

Get the hell out of my shed, you dirty bum: People loved Murray. WHY? WHY? ...WHY!? He might have been, in my humble opinion, the most annoying character in Harvest Moon history. "Oh look what I found in this shed of this house I wander around and see that you live in!". "..." Nothing got my blood boiling more than watching him leave out of my storage shed.

Even the plants are complicated: I remember the plants wilting a lot...because apparently as it got warmer, the plants drank more water. And then sometimes they didn't grow nearly as fast as they should, even when I added fertilizer, and that's why tomatoes were like the holy grail...and also why I wanted to murder Murray for trying to take them XP

Get married or your sorry single self is outta here!: The chapters were probably the worst idea ever. Non free play feels too weird in the Harvest Moon series. And the time measurements and lack of activity made the fact that Chapter 2 last two to three years HORRIBLE. And honestly? I didn't make it past Chapter 3 XP

Takakura: Boy howdy, phew...so this is when you miss that daily shipper at 6 p.m. when Takakura takes, oh, three days or whenever it suits him to ship stuff. I guess...

Van: Let's not BUILD any form of store, that makes too much sense! Let's just have this guy come every two days and sell completely useless most of the time things!

Oh, this occurs at every festival, it's this thing we have: Well, this isn't JUST AWL. I've noticed the newer games have pretty much destroyed festivals from HM64 to BTN. Those were interactive enjoyable festivals and nowadays its like...go here and you might win something! But at least those are better than just a bunch of weird cut scenes that occur EVERY year. A little variety would have been nice...

It's a Mystery!: So there's this mysterious little shed on your farm that is locked for all eternity. This drove players crazy. What is it?! What lives there?! A mystery bachelorette? A magical camel? What if your father didn't die and he's in there, plotting world domination?! I found myself shocked as rumors flew about how to break into this shed, anywhere from taking your hammer and breaking down the door to getting a scene where you can provoke Mooky, he comes charging, and he snaps the building apart. WTF? Well, Natsume and Marvelous wasn't very forthcoming at first with what it was supposed to be until finally they said it was supposed to be the horse's barn...why it would have been so difficult to take this disappointing bit of data out, I don't know, but jeez.

So...I know I'm missing something and it'll come to me as I lay in bed at 3 a.m. but alas, those are pretty sad so let's look at some PROS!

PROS:

Your kid is the cutest thing ever: Okay, I think I got to a day of Chapter 4 before my cousin overwrote my file and I had to destroy her. But all throughout your kid's life, he is ADORABLE! As a baby, it's adorable that they have toys and that they talk and question you. So I have to say that's kind of cool and I did feel a motherly sorrow when they got past that age where I couldn't pick them up :( But I loved that Celia's and mostly like each son was like, "Do you and mom take bath's together?" at the kid age. What are you implying, bad child? And you gotta love that Nami's teenage son got all EMO and was even wearing black.

Sexually Suggestive: So I raised a brow when I read this on the rating for the game...Harvest Moon with Suggestive Themes? Really? But haha, it was pretty cool in some aspects even though none of them were that bad. Of course there was the bath thing, Muffy telling you that you're sexy, the "amorous" flower that she loved (let's face it, she was skanky), "milking" the bull and a random heart appearing over his head...it was silly little things but when they randomly occurred, I had to laugh.

Sky: I got bored easily...but found that I could get some amusement at aiming the camera at the sky during the day or night. For Gamecube, the sky is utterly GORGEOUS. The stars were beautiful too...the landscape for the game was very impressive. Too bad the gameplay didn't follow suit...

Weather: So I really wonder where most Harvest Moon games take place where it just rains ALL day or it snows ALL day or there's a tornado ALL day. AWL is actually practical and has it where rain can randomly show up then disappear. It might rain for some hours on occassion but sporadic like weather is supposed to be. Really the only good piece of realism.

Yes, people actually go places sometimes: Though it would have been the awesome if I could cross over the mountain and there was a city place to hang out or something (rather than that useless Game Boy hookup), it's cool that people actually, uh, commute sometimes rather than live for all eternity in one area.
 

Rants:

You know, like this hasn't already been one big rant XP But I heard a lot of questioning of Rock and why his parents are both black haired and he's not. Speculation led to he was adopted or he's not their son or he's not whatever his dad's name's son...Rock has his mother's eyes thus he's not adopted. And observe this picture... (I'll find better, my internet's being quite uncooperative):



Rock has black eyebrows. So thus, he's like most anime characters and has bleached his hair. I just remember reading all these weird ideas and not one of them seemed to notice these aspects and it irritated me XD

Overall Grade: C-

It wasn't a complete failure but it was close. Very close. Games have cleaned up since then, they've realized the issues. But nevertheless, I still kind of look back in sadness at AWL...

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